Ok so here’s a confession. That’s my favorite reaction gif.
No, ok, here’s the real confession. Sometimes I relish the drama.
I haven’t written very much about what my relationship with the mom is like. Sometime I will, but for now, I’ll just say that I think we have a better relationship than most in this position do. I have my feelings about her and I’m sure she has her feelings about me, but when we’re in the same place at the same time or when we have to communicate about childcare stuff, we’re cordial and even friendly at times. It could be much, much worse.
Under the radar, in emails or texts to my husband, she sometimes targets me. It bothers me, sure, but mostly I just want to say stop being such a stereotype.
Otherwise, I’ve realized that she gets bent about something approximately every two weeks. An email will pass in either direction, a small thing – a question, a request, an idea – and it will escalate in completely unexpected and absurd ways. And apparently I never learn from it because it surprises me every time.
My husband and I talk about these blow-ups. A lot. And when we do, we suddenly become passionately united against a common force and I kind of enjoy it sometimes. Wait, what? Who said that?
We talk about these conflicts because they often affect scheduling or other family-related comings and goings. And we talk about it because – forgive me – sometimes it is just so batshit that it becomes a significant anecdote in the how-was-your-day conversation. I am not going to describe anything specific here because I feel like that would violate the privacy of others, so please just take my word for the fact that sometimes it makes me wonder, like David after dentist, whether this is real life.
Sometimes the arguments get real, sometimes they are about real things, major things, like moving very far away with their child, and that’s not cool or fun or enjoyable. That’s not what I’m talking about. I don’t enjoy or want to enjoy these at the expense of my husband or stepson.
It’s just a good I-want-to-change-the-schedule-because-I-haven’t-exercised-in-three-days request that escalates to you-never-supported-my-career-anyway that adds a little color to our lives every now and then. (That would have been a really benign one.)
So I enjoy it sometimes. There, I said it. FULL DISCLOSURE.
Image credit: Dude, I do not know. We can start with this.