I can’t wait to be a stepmom, said no one.
I’m a stepmom and it’s really fucking hard. It sucks, to be honest.
I say that the same way I’d say something like:
Running that marathon was really fucking hard. It sucked, to be honest.
Which is to say that I guess there’s a reward involved despite all the punishment? I don’t know. I’ve never run a marathon and I’ve only been a stepmom for two years.
I was a stepkid but it never occurred to me that I may some day become a stepmom (because see above. It never occurs to anyone). And when I did become a stepmom, I realized that no amount of blended family experience could have prepared me for what this is like. It’s given me an incredible appreciation for my stepfather (hello, hi, I don’t know how you put up with me and my dad) because it’s just about the most thankless role in the familial cast of characters. You get double the abuse and a fraction of the appreciation. You get shut out most of the time and then are expected to pull full parental weight. Whatever is convenient. You’re damned either way – you’re either too involved (who do you think you are, the kid’s actual mom?) or not involved enough (you didn’t attend his ______? what kind of parent are you?). And on.
And then there’s the mom, who even in the best of circumstances will still say things that make you wonder whether this is real life. And you keep quiet and you keep going. And you protect the poor stepkid who has it worse.
Art credit: Aya Kakeda